The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
