you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
