if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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