i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
