he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
