My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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