If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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