mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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