We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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