The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
