My room smells like vodka and shame
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
