OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
The struggles of a small town man whore
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
