New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
