my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
MIDGETS
????
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
