I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
