Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
