sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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