They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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