I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
