I'm so fucking centered right now
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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