Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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