your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
