I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
