your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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