i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
