I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize