I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
