On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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