She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
