i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
