i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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