he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
