i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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