I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dick very happy bro
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
