I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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