You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
