i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
