they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Randomize
