It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
