I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
