I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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