She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
