Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
