ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
