Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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