So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
i think my cat just said my name.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
