Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
