So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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