Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
