you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
