OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think a kid would responsible me up
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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