dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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