you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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