Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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