Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
