At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
