Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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