Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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